Look after a couple of weeks of Swine Flu, I thought we might need something else to worry about for a while. So I have compiled a little list of things to worry about. There are thirty one of them, one for each day of the month. Now when you wake up in the morning you don't have to think, "What will I worry about today?" I have a list. All you do is post the list in a conspicuous place, like the door of the fridge, and you can worry to your heart's content, each day on an entirely new and different worry.
1. Today I will worry about being hit by a giant meteorite from outer space.
2. Today I will worry about a resurgence of the bubonic plague killing all of mankind.
3. Today I will worry about global warming raising the level of the oceans until New York is under water.
4. Today I will worry about the build up of pesticides and chemicals poisoning all of the worlds water supply.
5. Today I will worry about a super storm freezing the entire Northern Hemisphere (or Southern Hemisphere depending on where you live).
6. Today I will worry about a monster lizard hatching out of the middle of the Pacific Ocean and invading my town (really only a worry in New York, but you can always hope).
7. Today I will worry about a break down of law and order creating the end of society as we know it (wait a minute, this has already happened).
8. Today I will worry about the destruction of the rain forest (ditto above).
9. Today I will worry about suddenly developing a fatal disease.
10. Today I will worry about aliens invading the earth and killing all of mankind (leaving the women).
11. Today I will worry about nuclear war.
12. Today I will worry about biological war (since we are on wars for a while).
13. Today I will worry about terrorists bombing my city.
14. Today I will worry about a giant _______ fill in the blank (suggestions: earthquake, flood, tsunami, hurricane, tornado or whatever).
15. Today I will worry about all of the cute fuzzy animals of the world going extinct.
16. Today I will worry about all of the rest of the not so cute and fuzzy animals going extinct.
17. Today I will worry about an increase in taxes.
18. Today I will worry about the end of civilization (oh dear, back to number 7).
19. Today I will worry about _______. This is another free choice day. I would suggest Bigfoot, Yetis, Loch Ness Monster, Area 51 or whatever you would like today.
20. Today I will worry about a complete collapse of the world economy.
21. Today I will worry about the alien skull found on Mars.
22. Today I will worry about the hollow earth theory.
23. Today I will worry about UFOs.
24. Today I will worry about a volcano erupting in my town (two extra points if you live in L.A.).
25. Today I will worry about the beginning of a new ice age.
26. Today I will worry about the New World Order and someone taking over the government.
27. Today I will worry about the Apocalypse and Armageddon (Another two for one day).
28. Today I will worry about the earth being hit by a black hole or whatever.
29. Today I will worry about the sun exploding in a supernova. (Do you realize how much work it is to keep this up for a whole month?).
30. Today I will worry about everything on the list for at least five minutes.
31. Today I will worry about all of the things on the TV ads.
Now, wasn't that refreshing?
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Last of the Fall leaves
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The maple trees are almost the last to shed their leaves for the winter.
But being among the last does not mean they are any less colorful than all
th...
6 hours ago
I was with you right up to the sun going supernova. It just doesn't have enough mass to do that. Instead it will balloon up into a red giant, singeing all the planets in its wake, and then collapse back down to a white dwarf, eventually cool down and form one, giant diamond. If you lived that long, you'd be rich beyond your wildest dreams.
ReplyDeleteSo, I don't worry about the sun going supernova anymore.
I think I have a rash of undetermined origin...
ReplyDelete